Dear Cancer…

Dear Cancer,

It has been an extremely interesting 2 years getting to know you. You gave me quite a shock in America all those months ago. To be honest your appearance in my life at that time was unwanted and frightening. My career was flourishing and we were planning to start a family. You took away all those aspirations in one fail swoop and left me in a mutilated and depressed state. I’m not sure I can ever properly forgive you for that although I immediately accepted that this was how my life was going to be, and that you were to be a constant companion that I was going to have to learn to get along with.

The months of treatment to suppress you and bring you under control took their toll on me both physically and mentally until I decided to stop the treatment and let you do your worst. I was determined to keep smiling and live my life to the full including a return to work before you got the better of me. In some ways it is because of you that I have been able to live the most wonderful lifestyle for the past year. I never would have been able to meet the Queen if it wasn’t for you so in a strange kind of way I am grateful. I think you have made me into a much more tolerant, optimistic and happy person and I thank you for that.   

Well, you’ve been asleep now for 19 months. I wonder every day how to keep you settled and peaceful in your slumber. I also wonder every day when you are going to awaken and how you plan to take my life. Are you going to obstruct my bowels? Are you going to cause a pulmonary embolism? Are you just going to overwhelm my body? I guess you haven’t decided this yet yourself, but please be kind and let it be quick whichever way you finally settle on.

Kind regards, 

Kate x