Dear Cancer Part 4

Dear Cancer,

Usually I would start penning a letter to someone significant with “how are you?” or perhaps “hope this finds you well”, but both of these conventional niceties seem wholly inappropriate when writing to you. I don’t particularly want to know how you are doing and I certainly don’t want to encourage your well-being. It has now been three years to the day since we kicked off this unusual relationship of ours and I figured I should mark this latest and unexpected cancerversary by recording some feelings and reflections.

Three years. Who’d have thought it? Three years ago today I was lying on a trolley in an American ER being put through a battery of initial investigations. I was in horrendous pain. My kidneys had given up the ghost. I left my dignity at the automatic doors of the hospital as I underwent the necessary intimate examinations. Scared doesn’t even come close to describing my emotions, as I processed all the clinical information and the terrible, unimaginable truth began to dawn on me. Yet constantly through all this I was forced to maintain the strong public face for Chris and shield him for as long as possible until we knew for sure what we were dealing with.

I will never forget the breakdown in John & Jen’s garden just a few hours after I was discharged from that very first hospital admission. I cried so hard my whole body trembled. I cried until I had no more tears. Why had you come along to ruin our lives? Abolished dreams of having my own family? Stolen my lifelong ambition to become a Consultant Geriatrician? Chris and I would never grow old together and be able to spoil our Grandchildren… My hopes for life before you arrived really were that universally simple – a happy family and success in a career that I loved.

In the beginning I thought about giving in and letting you take my life. I thought long and hard about taking my own life. But from somewhere inside, I’m not sure where, I found the strength to get through to here. However crazy it sounds all I wanted to do was go back to work; see another patient of my own; be normal again. And I defied the odds to make that happen. Do you think you could find it within yourself to let me get to March next year? Because on the 7th March provided I have no more sick leave I will complete my training. I’ve never wanted my CCT quite as much as I do now. I know I will never be able to work as a Consultant and let go of that dream ages ago but this small personal achievement would mean the absolute world to me.

So here we find ourselves in no man’s land yet again. We’ve been here before haven’t we? You’re that ugly gremlin sitting on my shoulder waiting to give me a firm prod at the first opportunity. For the past few weeks I have started to feel more pain and more fatigue. Every little twinge makes me wonder whether it’s you. I’m not sure I want to get back in chemo boxing ring again. I’m not sure my body can take it. I’m running out of the inner strength that has sustained me for so long and my bone marrow is certainly starting to complain.

I don’t know if I’ll still be here to write my fourth cancerversary letter. I suspect I probably won’t so let me conclude by saying it has been quite a rollercoaster getting to know you over the past thirty six months. You’ve forced me to stop and reassess everything about my life; my priorities; my ambitions; my wishes. You’ve made me into a better person; a more considerate one with far more patience; hopefully a more empathic and patient-centred doctor too. You are the reason for us having to concertina our fifty years together into just a precious few.

But for now all we can do is to keep looking forward one day at a time. I have a University course to complete, a skydive to conquer, £250000 to raise for the Yorkshire Cancer Centre and a brand new niece to meet in early October…

Best wishes,

K x

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88 thoughts on “Dear Cancer Part 4

  1. I am sending prayers to you and for strength to fight this and have a long future a head of you. Lord knows our healthcare system needs more caring souls like you, and you deserve a long life. Beautifully written story. Thank you for sharing because I know I will appreciate my current health more. We never know what day that could change. Many blessings to you.

  2. You are SUCH an inspiration! This letter reminds me so much of my dear friend Quinn who would throw “tumor-versary” parties each year complete with a brain shaped piñata that he would destroy to symbolize that he was still beating his brain tumor. Although his brain tumor eventually won and he’s no longer in this world, I’m always so happy to come across people who share the same positive attitude that he did, despite dealing with such a horrible disease. Wishing you all the best! ❤

  3. As always Kate, you’re strength and honesty have left me in tears. Keep fighting lovely lady, I am willing you to complete your training next March xxx

  4. I am hoping and praying for you. The gift of a niece is an honour you will live. I hope yiu get your CCT too. Keep fighting Kate. xx

  5. Pingback: Dear Cancer Part 4 | Health Blog Round-up | Sc...

  6. I always admire people who struggle between life and death..If it had been myself, i probably have been giving up. Nobody can imagine what you guys are going through exept those who are in it themselves. keep having faith in yourself, try to stay strong and keep writing about your feelings..it will make it more possible for people like us to try to understand it

  7. I know it is extremely hard. However I absolutely love the fact that you are processing and documenting your feelings and thoughts. So many others feel inspiration from you and this post. I pray for your March 7th and I pray that God blesses you with more strength.

  8. You are going to over come it! I know so. Keep your vibe and keep transmitting it. I wish you the best, because you deserve it. I know you inspire millions, keep inspiring others as well as yourself.

  9. Thank you for sharing your painful journey with us with such courage. You have written such important things about end of life care. I hope when my time comes it will be driven by my wishes too. x

  10. I think this is one of the most inspirational things I have ever and it brought tears to my eyes. I wish you and Chris the best future possible and hope that you achieve everything you want, you deserve it more than anyone. Much love, Esme xxx

  11. i have battled a rare form of cancer for the last 18 years. i just started blogging about my story. mybeautifullifewithcancer.wordpress.com
    thank you for sharing your story!

  12. First time I have read your blog Kate,
    Really touch me, I am a med reg working in the NHS and your a massive inspiration, what a fighter. I hope achieve all your goals and keep fighting, trully amazing.

    James

  13. Dr. Granger,
    Your story is truly inspiring. You are a very strong person, who has persevered despite the obstacles that you have had to overcome. I am just a high school student who blogs about volunteering at a hospital, but your story has truly touched me and encouraged me to live every day to the fullest. I wish you the best!

  14. My sister got cancer..she’s going to start second round of chemio..but she’s so strong! This situation really makes you rethink about life and the things and the people who really count…don’t give up, wish you the very best!!

  15. You rock, you rock, you rock. I get all your are saying. I just had my 15th round of chemo (metastatic colon). I went through a spectrum of emotions with this wacky malady. I send you light and strength and my deepest admiration. Don’t stop! Love is all around you whispering like a rose.

  16. No one knows how very hard it is what you are going through until they experience it! I lost my own father and dear sister-in law to cancer. Both of them were fighters like you until the very end and never gave up on life every single day they were given. My sister-in law used to say that those who have cancer look at life differently. I understand now what she was saying by reading your blog here. You have you helped a lot of people to understand more with your writing. Thank you for the inspiration and hope that you give others. Never give up. I am praying for you

  17. Cancer Cure
    By George S Gray
    Disclaimer
    I want to help people but I don’t want to be sued so I would like to make it very clear, that the information and suggestions presented here are only presented as my opinion.
    I strongly advise and encourage all of you to seek the aid of a qualified health practitioner for any advice pertaining to your particular condition and needs.
    This information is my opinion; it’s different to the orthodox medical opinion––so you are advised to seek professional advice about your particular condition and needs.
    George Gray

    The Most Simple and Easiest Cancer Cure.

    DIY cancer cure, the one that really works.

    Keep this fact in mind: Cancer is not a disease but only a symptom of the “ONE DISEASE”, “Toxaemia of the Bloodstream”, which occurs in an unhealthy acidic body.

    All the 400 so-called degenerative diseases of mankind are caused by the eating of cooked food, and all these so-called diseases, which are really only symptoms of the “ONE” disease: “Toxaemia of the Bloodstream”, can be cured in many cases, and avoided by eating only organically grown raw food.

    Toxaemia, the “ONE” disease, is a polluted condition of the body’s internal environment, due to impurities in the bloodstream derived from improperly constituted cooked food and to a lesser extent from other sources.

    In support of the “ONE” disease claim made above:

    There is only one cause of disease, and there is also only one disease, which shows itself under different forms.
    The New Science of Healing or the doctrine of the Oneness of All Diseases, Louis Kuhne, German Author, Leipzig. Published by Louis Kuhne, 1891

    John H. Tilden, MD, said it all back in 1926. Summing up in his book Toxemia Explained:
    “In chronic disease, the treatment, first, last and all the time, must be with a view of getting rid of the toxemia. This consists of correcting whatever habits of life are producing enervation, and then gradually building up a normal digestion, assimilation and elimination.
    After fifty years of floundering in the great sea of medical and surgical speculation to find the causes of so-called diseases, all I could find was that all the people were sick part of the time, and part of the people were sick all of the time. But Glory be, all of the people were not sick all of the time.
    Some people got well under my treatment and friends would say that I ‘cured’ them. Others died, and friends would say that Providence removed them. I knew that I did not cure those who got well, and I did not like to acknowledge even to myself that I had killed those who died.
    It took a long time to evolve out of the one conventional idea of many diseases into the truth that there is but “ONE” disease, and that the four hundred catalogued so-called diseases are but different manifestations of Toxemia–blood and tissue uncleanliness.” [emphasis added]
    William Howard Hay, MD agreed with the “ONE” disease claim by H Tilden M.D. In his book: The New Health Era, 1933 he said:
    “Progressive pernicious anaemia, asthma, Bright’s disease, diabetes, rheumatism, arthritis, neuritis, gastric or duodenal ulcer, every form of digestive disturbance, eczema, psoriasis. pityriasis, goitres of all types, tumors, tuberculosis-any and all of these varied forms of so-called disease fall under one head, chemical imbalance of the body, and all subject to restoration to the normal through correction of the body chemistry and thorough drainage.” [emphasis added]

    The “ONE” disease or oneness of disease was known about earlier than1891 but put into print in 1891. So this is not a new idea, the fact is, the truth has been suppressed.

    Well, getting back to the food, what’s wrong with cooked food then?

    To begin with, as already mentioned, it is poisonous in the body; unnatural, dead, devitalised, denatured, and it is acid-forming in the body, causing the body to be out of harmony or out of resonance with the life-giving aether*.

    As long as people continue to eat cooked, harmful acid-forming foods, which change the chemistry of their bloodstream, from alkaline to acid, they will continue to suffer sickness and disease.

    For people to be in good health they must be in resonance with the life-giving aether*, their blood must always be alkaline, with a pH reading between 7.2 and 7.6, and any deviation either above or below this range means disease; the optimum pH for humans is 7.4.

    Raw food is very potent in life-giving benefits and used as only a small part of the diet, up to ten percent or a less, is able to preserve human life and maintain the “low” level of health that mankind experience today.

    When humans use raw food in greater amounts the results are more noticeable and a greater level of health is achieved.

    When humans use raw food exclusively it seems like a magic potion to the uninitiated, the results are electrifying; the transformation in physiological efficiency throughout the body is something to behold, it is amazing.

    No doctors are needed in this cancer cure unless there is some blockage in the body and surgery is necessary to prolong life.

    Cancer can only live in an unhealthy acidic body with an acidic bloodstream.
    Cancer cannot live in a healthy alkaline body with an alkaline bloodstream.

    How can you change your acidic body to an alkaline body?

    Nothing may pass the lips except raw fruit, raw vegetables (salad vegetables mainly) and water.

    The body regards cooked food as a poison, which most people force their body to deal with many times a day. Cooked food will feed the cancer.

    WARNING: Tap water and many bottled waters are acidic and not alkaline as they should be.
    Watch this 6 minute video on water so you can get the best results.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yi83kOB8ug

    Certain medication may have to be taken such as blood pressure, heart, diabetes and asthma medication etc., if needed to prolong life.
    This is the easiest cure for cancer. In 3 to 6 weeks all traces of the cancer will be gone; some cases have taken a little longer.
    Will this alkaline forming diet cure all types of cancer?
    Yes, as far as I know it will cure all types of cancer in the human body; I’m not sure about cancer from radioactive material in the body such as that from Fukushima.
    Cancer cannot live in a healthy alkaline body.
    The abscisic acid in raw fruit and vegetables inhibits and destroys the unnatural growth hormone produced by the cancer cells.
    This stops the growth of tumours and allows time for the now very powerful immune system to destroy them.
    The raw fruit and vegetable diet causes the body to reach good health with a powerful immune system.
    Chemotherapy and radiotherapy poison the body and keep it in an unhealthy acidic condition; in most cases this allows the cancer to keep growing or to grow again if it had been temporarily stopped.
    The failure rate for chemotherapy is 97%, but the oncologists continue to prescribe it because they earn big money from selling it.
    The cancer business is a very big business and a cure would destroy it.
    When it comes to cancer treatments, radiotherapy (radiation treatments) have been found to actually be worse than useless: They create new cancer cells that are 30 times more cancerous than the original tumor cells! Yep: Radiation actually breeds deadly cancer stem cells. http://www.naturalnews.com/035289_radiation_cancer_stem_cells.html
    The Cancer Treatment Protection Racket
    How the Cancer Act 1939 maintains ineffective cancer treatments
    John Smith—04/2012
    The Cancer Act 1939 and similar legislation around the world gives orthodox cancer treatment an undeserved monopoly, ensuring that ineffective but profitable treatments like chemotherapy and radiotherapy can never be challenged by more effective alternative treatments.
    “We have a multi-billion dollar industry that is killing people, right and left, just for financial gain. Their idea of research is to see whether two doses of this poison is better than three doses of that poison”.—-Glenn A. Warner, M.D. Oncologist.
    “Most cancer patients in this country die of chemotherapy…Women with breast cancer are likely to die faster with chemo than without it.”—Alan Levin, M.D.
    “Considered in its broadest terms, orthodox cancer treatment today is a failure and a disgrace. Contemporary cancer management in a number of respects constitutes professional malpractice”. —-Dr Brian A Richards, The Topic of Cancer, 1982.
    “Our failure to improve survival rates has been due to clinicians rigidly maintaining obsolete concepts of the nature of the disease”. —Dr M Baum, British Medical journal, 1976.
    “There is no evidence that mastectomy affects survival. If women knew that they would probably refuse surgery”. —Dr L Cunningham, Lancet, 1980.
    “The difference between incidence and mortality suggests that no improvement in survival has occurred as a result of surgery”. —Dr J Benjamin, CSIRO scientist, 1993.

    “Success of most chemotherapies is appalling…. There is no scientific evidence for its ability to extend in any appreciable way the lives of patients suffering from the most common organic cancer…chemotherapy for malignancies too advanced for surgery which accounts for 80% of all cancers is a scientific wasteland”…..Dr Ulrich Abel, Hippocrates Verlag, Stuttgart, 1990.

    “My studies have proven conclusively that untreated cancer victims actually live up to four times longer than treated individuals. For a typical type of cancer, people who refused treatment lived for an average twelve and a half years. Those who accepted surgery and other types of treatment lived and average of three years…” ….Dr Hardin Jones of the University of California Department of Medical Physics at the American Cancer Society’s annual Science Writers Conference in New Orleans, 1969.

    Dr Hardin Jones in paper titled “Cancer cures more deadly than disease” also added,
    “It is utter nonsense to claim that catching symptoms early enough will increase the patient’s chances of survival. Not one medical scientist or study has proven that so in any way.

    Furthermore, untreated breast cancer cases show a life expectancy four times longer than treated ones. My wife and I have discussed what she would do if breast cancer were diagnosed in her, and we both agree she would do nothing except to keep as healthy as possible. I guarantee she would live longer. For not only does radical surgery or chemotherapy do nothing to prolong a cancer victim’s life, but that same person will, in most cases, live longer if he or she refuses treatment. Beyond a shadow of doubt, radical surgery on cancer patients does more harm than good”.

    “If I contracted cancer, I would never go to a standard treatment centre. Cancer victims who live far from such centres have a chance”…..Professor George Mathe, French cancer specialist, medicines Nouvelles, March 1989.

    “The three major killers in modern society, Coronary Heart Disease, Cancer and Strokes, can be linked to what people eat and drink”…..Dr B Hetzel, Chief of the CSIRO Division of Human Nutrition and Foundation professor of Social and Preventive Medicine, Monash University.

    “The major cancers of our time are diet-caused, mainly by fat and cholesterol”….Dr Ernest Wynder, American Health Foundation, addressing the USA Government Senate Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs.

    In their WNT16B paper, the Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre, Seattle, USA show chemotherapy helps cancer grow and makes it untreatable.

    In Britain NICE, a nasty organisation masquerading as the “National Institute for Clinical Excellence,” ruthlessly controls and brainwashes doctors, who are not allowed to prescribe anything that is not on their list. It demands £4 million and 9 years to get on it.
    The medical and pharmaceutical worlds are at least as corrupt as the governmental and political worlds.
    Chemotherapy a horror story?
    The Clinical Oncology medical journal reported in December 2004 that chemotherapy had an average 5 year survival rate of just 2.3% across the 22 major cancers it examined.
    By Norman Kurnal
    That’s 97% of chemo patients dead in just 5 years.
    The results are the same around the world, and, apart from some massaging of statistics, have not improved. In the UK in 2012, where it costs £15 billion a year, and in other countries, cancer has overtaken heart disease to become the leading cause of death.
    Chemotherapy began its life as World War One mustard gas, and 100 years later pharmaceutical corporations and governments still ignore the huge biomedical advances that have been made, and brainwash doctors to prescribe the incredibly expensive, but ancient poison of chemotherapy.
    When government says it is cutting costs, they are almost always lying. It’s your money they are wasting, not theirs.
    Every doctor who prescribes chemo breaks his Hippocratic oath “to administer no poison.” He also runs the risk of a criminal prosecution, because administering a poison the doctor knows will usually kill is premeditated, so it’s worse than manslaughter. It is murder.
    That is the main reason the medical industry fights so viciously against new discoveries. If discoveries are allowed to succeed, it will be obvious to everyone that doctors should not have been poisoning with chemo, and they could be defending themselves on murder charges for years to come. End of quotes.
    In my opinion the professors/oncologists are worse than tribal witchdoctors, they don’t have a clue what they are doing; they keep on killing people who put their trust in them.
    They follow the medical profession’s advice to poison the body and keep it in an unhealthy acidic condition with a weak immune system.
    In contrast to this they should be making the unhealthy acidic body change to a healthy alkaline body with a powerful immune system, which would destroy the cancer.
    By their actions the medical profession highlight their ignorance on the subject of cancer.
    They have no idea what causes cancer or what cures cancer and they hate being exposed for what they are.
    Oncologists claim they are only following orders, the authorized procedure; war criminals said they were only following orders as well.
    The medical profession need to own up to the fact that they are ignorant and incompetent in regard to cancer treatment.
    No more research needs to be carried out looking for a cancer cure, and no more grants need to be paid out to research groups looking for a cancer cure.
    This information needs to be made known throughout the countries of the world.
    Accurate translations are needed to help the people in all the countries of the world understand this information.
    Nobody should die of cancer any more.
    Pass this information on. Keep this email circulating.
    PS. There is a lot of good information on the net on the subject of grounding the human body with the earth.
    There are great benefits from doing this as an earthed body (grounded to earth with bare feet or hands) is in resonance with the life-giving aether* and will have good health unless acid-forming food is eaten.
    The acid-forming food (cooked food) immediately puts the human body out of resonance with the life-giving aether* and disease develops.
    So while curing the cancer with the natural diet of raw fruit and veggies take the opportunity to ground yourself each day for some time, the longer the better.
    Walking barefoot outside also presses the Reflexology points on the bottom of the feet and this also results in much better health.

    * Aether is the finest but also the most energy dense substance which Man has yet conceived. It permeates all of space and through its many divisions, creates and SUSTAINS all matter and energy….Zpe, the Aether spectrum and the Neutral Centre- KeelyNet…Jerry Decker.

  18. I would like to thank you for sharing your contents with this blog. My mom is under chemio therapy and radio therapy, very hard to manage all that stuff, because she’s too much warried about my rare diseas making my life very hard and not always pox to be managed by my ownself, and I’m really worried about her plis I’m sad because I’m not able to help her as she deserves. 😵 😊
    Bye from Sicily (Italy) Pardon my english as well.

  19. Pingback: Kate Granger | Jeff Pearlman

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