Happy 13th wedding anniversary my beautiful angel up in heaven. I do hope you are celebrating with family and friends and remembering our amazing times together – so, so many to choose from.
A gust of wind, a feather on my pillow, a butterfly passing by, a robin at the window etc – all these little things remind me that you are certainly still all around me and they make me smile… they also make me sad that I can’t hold you close, that we can’t chat, that I can’t feel your breath on my skin or have those nights in like we loved to always have.
I sometimes impress myself with my strength over the last few months but then I realise that I owe this to you. You are my inspiration every day when I get out of bed and everything I do I aim to make you proud. You know me better than anyone else in the world.
People often say that it gets easier in time and that they understand what I am going through. This is not true – very few people understand our situation – our amazing relationship, our friendship, our togetherness and our wonderful and special times across our years together. I haven’t come across anyone who truly understands what I am going through and I doubt I ever will.
It’s been 2 years now since I held your hand for the last time and kissed your beautiful face….. I often think of that day and either smile for the good times we had or cry as you are no longer with me.
Since my letter to you last year I’ve been extremely busy taking the campaign on a global tour that we spoke about before you died.. It’s taken me to various countries across the world including Australia, New Zealand, USA, Spain to name but a few. I have delivered over 200 talks since Sept 2017 and my diary is starting to fill up to mid-2019. I have also written articles for magazines and chapters for books. I know you will be impressed and proud.
We celebrated the 70th birthday of our beloved NHS this year and we both received accolades on the back of this. You were named as the third most influential person across the NHS in its 70 years and I received an award from the PM (who also posed for a #hellomynameis pic) which I collected a couple of weeks ago and thanked her for the letter she sent to you just before you died.
The campaign we started is going from strength to strength and we operate now in over 20 countries and it continues to make a difference to patients and beyond across the world.
Family wise you are now an Aunty again as Lucy was born just a few months ago – such a cutie!! All the others are doing well and I am as involved as time allows and love the time I spend with them all… you were an amazing Aunty to them all and we will ensure your memory always remains. I often wonder how my life would be now if we had of had children. You would have been an amazing Mum (to Charlie) and I would have so loved to have been a family with you and our children but like we often said we had to play the cards in life we had been dealt.
We scattered your final ashes on your birthday last year across Wessenden moor as requested my beautiful one. It was a lovely occasion with your folks and brother with me. We all had time to reflect and chatted about old times before scattering you at your childhood memory place alongside some roses we threw in the stream. This was a very moving scene as it was almost a final goodbye given they were your final ashes… although I kept a small amount at home for myself…. you are now in our 3 special places and always in my heart.
I have so many amazing people in my life and I speak to hundreds of people each week with the campaign either virtually or in person but I still feel lonely my darling without you by my side. I continue to proudly wear my wedding ring as I am proud to be your husband and always will be irrespective of what the future holds for me. I know we talked about this at length gorgeous.
You will be delighted to hear that the world premiere of our play occurred a few months ago also and this is continuing to tour the uk sharing our story in a different format and raising money for St Gemmas. Our fundraising is up to £370,000 now and target is £500,000 by end of year…. we will achieve this..
A lot of my time is now spent presenting awards named after you as you were the epitome of compassionate care in everything you did throughout your life. Organisations around the world and more locally use your name as part of annual prestigious awards which are won by such amazing individuals and teams who i have the honour of meeting.
Your books have now sold over 30,000 copies across the world and my book (yes darling – my book!!) continues to be written and I aim to have this finished by the end of the year.
Over the next few weeks i have some big decisions to make about the next chapter – for me, for the campaign, for global healthcare but your legacy and our campaign will continue for many generations to come – you have my word darling.
Whatever decisions I make and whichever pathway my life takes you will always be my inspiration and I know you are to many thousands across the world. Let’s see what happens over the next 12 months my darling.
Forever I am yours my beautiful angel Kate – thank you for choosing to spend your life with me… I hope I make you proud.
Love you always